The Spiraling Basketcase

This was a great little video and took what nuggets i could from it.

     Wow!  It's been a very long time indeed. A lot has happened to my life since the last post nearly two years ago and I am so ready to let those of you who want to know read all about it. I will have to read the last post and I will break it up into smaller segments because I have to say, there is a whopper of updates to my life..      I hope to be back tomorrow with something to read. Be safe out there! Chris

Okay.. i dont know where i left off and im to lazy to go back now and read soooo... i do know i am not in love as i used to be with my wife and i miss that, tremendously. I miss all the contact we shared before the kids were born. Once Melissa was born things changed and it has never been the same since. Loss of sexual interest because she thinks she is fat and ugly. She isnt. Gone are the times of going to the bar or out to a comedy club or even dinner date. Things have really changed and I have been trying to get those moments back for such a long time. i have taken up driving years ago to get away from wanting to be physical when arguing with my wife. she loves to fight, loves to bring her hatred from work home. Yelling is her only tone of voice. I dont like this, I cant have the kids growing up thinking it is normal to be yelled at and constantly berated. When i try to get involved and talk to her she gets mad and we then get into a fight. Yelling to the point where i want to hit ...

Yea. Got off track. Maybe tomorrow.

Today, the first day of the few days i have to enjoy with my kids. My wife is working pretty much every minute until we leave in the morning. The whole day before the kids got out my mind has been occupied. Thoughts of love, dreams and what is to come. Perhaps a bit of update before we get into this. Ill turn it into a small series.  Coming next.

Its great to finally get some time off. I'm not really wanting to be here and my reasons may be wrong but there are feelings for another involved.  I do however love the time with my kids.  I left the house to drive because I did not want to be physical when we fought.  My wife lives for arguments and the safest thing was for me to leave in hopes we could work out our differences thru some distance.  I've come to love my job. The only downfall is the time away from my children. Not my wife but my kids.  Is that wrong, I don't know. Right now I really don't care. I've grown addicted to the road. The freedom and ability to travel the country while being paid to do it. The people I meet. The foods I get to eat. Its a welcome break from fighting every day about what is absolutely not worth fighting about. I love my wife. I'm no longer in love with her. I've come to know this. She knows this too. Where do I go from here. What options do I have. I am glad to hav...

Well to day I had a few deliveries in kansas city, missouri. I notified my mother i would be stopping by and see my daughter for the day. i will be leaving tomorrow. while i love my mother with all my heart, i cannot stand how those around her consistently help my cousin clinton. he is a byproduct of a mother who didnt care and a father who wants nothing to do with him. now i remember his father never ever being there for him in his life, his mother letting him do anything he wanted and before he was a teenager he was in trouble. his mother, in my opinion, is a failure. he is the way he is because he wasnt disciplined at all. he now is into drugs, theft, panhandling and anything else to get the drugs and live on the streets. today while i was at my mothers clint calls and does one of his many rants on how he is having a heat stroke and needs help. all he needs is fifteen dollars to get a hotel room. yeah. really, thats all. i cant stand him and the continued crap that goes o...